My Story Begins...

My story begins 14 years ago, when I was 31. I was married, happy and owned my own company. My husband was successful as well. We were the couple among our friends that became millionaires at age 30. The world was ours. But one day we looked around us and realized most of our friends were having kids. We took a step back and said "Ok, It's time."

We tried for a year. By this point practically all of our friends were pregnant and we still weren't. It was grueling, I thought it would be so easy but here we were still childless. Both me and my husband were tested for infertility and we were both fine.

We started seeing a gynecologist and she put me on clomid, an infertiltiy drug that is low impact but puts a fire under your eggs to show themselves. Eggs, where are your when I need you? 

Nothing happened.

I spoke to many friends at Cornell and NYU about my situation.We had now been trying for almost 2 years with no luck. Everyone around me was having babies. Even the pets in my building were having babies! But I still wasn't.

I started my infertility journey at NYU.  It was scary and weird and I blame myself for not knowing enough and not asking enough questions. I didn't understand fully what hormone levels were and why they were so important. I was a worker earning a huge income and I was just let the doctors lead me blindly. I took whatever pill they told me to and had whatever blood test they wanted done. But nothing worked. I had tried everything except IVF. In my mind, it was my last hope.

IVF  was so cool to me and I felt like "This is it!" It was crazy expensive but I felt like it was my only way.

Two years into my infertility treatment I was spending $1000 per week on infertility shots and hormones, and getting blood tests down twice a week. I was moody as all hell, but this was my journey.

My first try with IVF, I had 7 viable eggs. In my mind I was already pregnant. I knew I had a long road ahead, but I was comforted by the thought that with IVF this journey would end with me being pregnant. However, I soon discovered that it wasn't that easy and that there were surprises around every corner.

The morning I went for egg retrieval I went to the hospital with my husband and to my surprise they retrieved 5 viable type A eggs. Again, they were not placed inside of me, but in my mind I was pregnant. Two days later I went into the doctor's office and they placed the embryos inside of me. I went home that afternoon with three viable type A eggs inside of me and felt I was pregnant!!! No, no, I wasn't, but my mind made me think I was, and pregnant with triplets at that. I picked out names and mapped out my life thinking we were having triplets. The doctors even joked with me after I left the procedure.

Normally you wait two weeks for a blood test. When I ran to the doctor I really was thinking and holding my stomach like I was carrying. I completed my blood tests and ran home impatiently waiting for the phone call.

"I am sorry, Lesley. It didn't take. You are  NOT pregnant."

I thought I wanted too die. Really Die. What the hell, I did everything I was supposed to, spent nearly $15,000. Nobody knew what happened why I wasn't pregnant. 

But I was relentless, I was getting pregnant and I was paying anything and doing anything I could.

Five IVF cycles later I had lost a lot of friends and had to explain to my family that I wasn't pregnant. That it just didn't happen. I couldn't even sit with friends that were pregnant anymore. I was angry and jealous. 

But it was all natural. 

My life took such a turn for the better and the excitement continues...