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Should Men Have a Say in the Due Date?

By Richard Banks
06/05/2012 9:45 AM

With two of the three pregnancies my wife has carried, she has been given her choice of due date. The two due dates were relatively close together and dependent on then hospital and obstetrician schedule. Both times she asked me what I thought about the dates and I was appalled. Here is this woman whom I love carrying our child and she is asking me for input on the birth date. We talked about each date and subsequently chose the earliest date both times. The earliest date was the least I could do when the pregnancies were extremely difficult and the fetuses weighed more than then average fetus in both cases. Looking back I often wonder if I should have had any input at all?

Taking My Part in the Pregnancy Seriously
I took my part in pregnancies very seriously. When my wife needed me to be there, I was there with bells on, but she also wanted the opportunity to step back from me and take the ebbs and flows of pregnancy on her own. The stubborn person I love so much didn't want a lot of help along the way - so I was not accustomed to being asked my opinion on decisions that clearly involved her more than me. It actually took me a few minutes to gather myself before I was able to tell her my honest opinion. Of course, I told her that she was the one who needed to make the final decision with the help of the doctor. Her health and the health of our unborn child was the driving factor behind choosing the earlier date, but I supported that choice (I was excited).

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Be Honest With Your Partner
If you are asked to choose a due date for your infant via C-section and your wife asks you to be included with the choice, don't hesitate. Discuss the pros and cons of all dates suggested and ask her how she feels about the dates. You don't want to push the choice back onto her lap if she is asking for your input, but you also don't want to make the decision for her.