I recently spoke with a friend of mine who'd been trying to conceive for around three years. The struggle was painful and the cost was out of this world, but finally they conceived a baby and the entire world changed. The couple was no longer working on becoming parents they actually were parents; bad parents. Infertility had changed the people they used to be into these super sensitive people who allowed their child to walk all over them. They feared losing that child because it'd taken so long to conceive her and now parenting wasn't all it cracked up to be.
The Spoiled, Rotten Brat Syndrome
Infertility is one of the hardest things I've ever experienced and my bout with it lasted a short time compared to some couples. When we finally realized we'd conceived, our idea of parenting didn't change. We knew the type of parents we wanted to be and infertility didn't change that idea. If our infertility lasted many years and cost us tens of thousands of dollars in treatments that finally paid off, maybe there would have been a part of me that needed to protect that child like a priceless wine or one-of-a-kind sports car. Maybe I would have placed that child on a pedestal so high no one could reach it and that's exactly how some couples react.
Every Pregnancy Happens in One Millisecond
No matter how long you've tried to conceive, every pregnancy happens in the same amount of time. That instant when the sperm makes it through the outer covering of the egg and wiggles inside – starting the change from egg to zygote and zygote to fetus and fetus to baby. Your child has no idea it took you years to achieve parenthood, so you do have to worry about owing her anything.
Being a great parent is about raising your child with the values you want them to have as an adult. If you feel the need to place your child in a protective bubble just because you faced infertility for so long you will change the course of your child's life.