My Infertility Journey: Department of Children and Families

Obie Editorial Team

In keeping with my new decision to approach getting pregnant more naturally this year before going the IVF route next year if it became necessary, I was also keeping up with my other thought of pursuing adoption again. My husband and I had been to an adoption orientation session for the state Department of Children and Families (DCF) five years ago, and were pretty serious about adopting a child at that time. Then, I decided to try the insemination first, and that didn't work, and I was bummed. Because of that, adoption was put on hold while we continued to try for a natural child conception. Now, I desired to do both. Adopting and having a child as naturally as possible (semi-naturally, as I refer to insemination) was my plan for the year.

So, I called the state DCF department and a man there gave me the number for a local DCF representative. We would need to take a 10-week parenting course (3 hours a night, one night a week), and then have a home study done to be approved to adopt, and the local woman could set us up with the next parenting class. The thing was, I'd called her before. I'd briefly revisited the idea of adoption two years ago and called her several times. She never answered the phone and never returned my calls (and I left many messages). I just figured that was a sign we should keep pursuing a biological child at that time.

As the state DCF representative instructed, I called this local DCF representative again the first day of the first full week of January, and, true to form, she didn't answer the phone and didn't return my call that day or the next. Did this woman even exist? I was beginning to wonder.

Well, no matter. This time, I was determined to see it through. I found a number for someone else in her office by doing an internet search. I would try calling her again mid-week. If she still didn't answer or return my call by the end of the week, I would call her colleague. Hopefully, I would get somewhere with another person. If I was going to be working with an adoption counselor (and I most certainly was), I wanted it to be someone who returned my phone calls!