The dynamic of financial relationships has changed in the modern home. Not all families consist of a dad who works to bring home the bacon and a mom who stays at home running the kids to school and after-school programs. Today, more men are staying home with the kids than ever before, but despite the rise in stay-at-home dads, there could be an unresolved issue some working moms are missing. Is your stay-at-home dad resenting you for being the one working outside the home?
Why Would there be Resentment?
The man is the patriarch of the family. He is the one who was given the power and responsibility to support his family with the Y chromosome – or so society has said for the last 100 years. In some cultures women are not allowed to work outside the home, though the work women do in the home is often much harder than any steady job. When it comes to men staying at home to care for the children, there is a gap that society often fills with negative stereotypes or statements.
Many stay-at-home dads claim they have negative feelings about their station in life, not because they are physically saying at home, but because society assumes they are not the main caregiver for the children. Comments like, “It must be daddy’s day out” or “Taking the kids off her hands for the day, huh?” are more common than supportive comments praising men for staying at home. But, many stay-at-home dads claim they don’t want that dedicated praise either.
When a woman sits with her children at the park it is assumed she is a stay-at-home mom. There are no special comments of praise, just acceptance. Men want that same acceptance, but they also need positive reassurance from partners that they are no less needed staying at home than they were when they worked outside the home for a paycheck.