Operation Baby is in full effect and you are tracking body temperature, checking cervical mucus, eating healthy and exercising daily to optimize fertility. Everything is on track for conception, but it is just not working. The only thing fertility experts can do is help a couple reach the optimal level of fertility in hopes of conception, pregnancy and live birth. No doctor can force pregnancy, but maybe forcing is the problem. Stress and expectation can cause the most intimate couple to think twice about having sex, so maybe what you need is a little more romance.
Beginning Romance Soon Wanes
Women are quick to share the experience when trying to conceive (TTC), but one story, in particular, takes the cake. A woman explains how she and her husband decided to try for a second child. The first few days were filled with romance, candlelit dinners, backrubs and lots of sex. She made the mistake of calculating her fertility and that’s when the romance went out the window. The calculator said she was not optimally fertile on any of the days she had recently had sex, but she would be most fertile in the coming three to four days. The romance was replaced with a fierce need to have sex as many times as possible during her fertile period.
Too many couples TTC have experienced the same movement from romance to necessity, but life TTC does not have to be that way. Romance is just as important as ant fertility calculator or temperature chart. You did not have time for those things before TTC, but you made time. Now you need to fit romance into the schedule.
The Easiest Ways to Find Romance is to Stop Looking
Trying too hard to find romance will inevitably cause more negative feelings in the relationship. You know your partner, so use what you already know to spark romance in the relationship. If you are at a loss for ideas try:
- Going back to the place where you met for a stroll, meal or a little time alone with your partner – rekindle old romantic feelings.
- Taking control in intimate situations – address his needs rather than yours.
- Leave blame at the bedroom door – nothing is less romantic than blaming your partner for fertility problems.
Romance is a feeling that is often forgotten in the heat of TTC. No two couples can approach rekindling the fire in a relationship the same way, but there are common problems that drive romance out of a relationship. Keep in mind that TTC is all about adding another member to the family – an extension of love if you will – and as such keeping love alive is just as important as a positive pregnancy test.