When it comes to libido, there is a common misconception that men are always revving to go in the bedroom while women are the ones that drag their feet toward intimacy. In actuality, however, the majority of men lack the sexual desire they wish to have in the bedroom.
For men, talking about a lower than normal sex drive is like admitting they are less manly than the next guy. Women rarely talk about the problem either because they often feel they are the reason for the waning need to have sex. When the women feels like she is unattractive or a bad sexual partner, a relationship can tank before help is ever sought.
As is the case with nearly every sexual problem, communication is key. Male libido problems are often associated with external and internal factors that have nothing to do with their sexual partner. Men need to look at the problem as something they can resolve in order to better their sex lives without the feeling of embarrassment.
More Often Than Men May Think
Recent studies have indicated that about 40% of men believe they have a lower than average libido. These men often want to have sex more or want to feel a stronger desire, but have no idea how to solve the problem; they feel as though something is wrong with them and that finding a solution seems nearly impossible.
Men must understand that a low libido can only be defined by the man. Some men are comfortable having sex only a couple of times a year while others want to have a stronger libido in order to desire sex a couple of times a day. If a couple is happy only having sex a couple of times a month or year, there is nothing wrong with that choice.
Why Don’t Men Want to Have Sex More Often?
Finding the root of the lower libido can often be easier than some men may think. The most common causes are stress and medication. Taking anti-depressants is more common today than ever before, but most of these medications come with a libido lowering side effect. Men simply have no desire to be intimate and if they do, erectile dysfunction can commonly occur.
Stress can have much the same effect. Waning libido is commonly associated with deadlines at work, difficult work schedules and exhaustion. Erectile dysfunction is a common side effect which may lead to further libido loss and cycling problems with male sexuality.
Men need to feel comfortable talking about their libido with partners and doctors if the problem persists. There is nothing wrong with going to see a sexual therapist without your partner if a joint session makes you feel uncomfortable. Sexuality is self-defined which means a partner may not see the problem in the same light as you. Communicating, finding the source of the problem, and taking the correct steps toward a healthy solution is the best action a man can take.