Some people value privacy more than others. We usually have a different set of privacy rules governing our relationships with friends, family, coworkers, business associates, and strangers and, most of the time, those personal rules of privacy are respected. Pregnancy, however, seems to be one phase of life where even strangers overstep the boundaries of privacy and ask the darnedest questions. One pregnant editor, fed up with the repeated invasions of her private pregnancy, has recently compiled a list of the questions she finds endlessly inappropriate and downright rude.
The editor, Stephanie R. Caudle, writes in a blog on the Huffington Post that she studied up on pregnancy and felt quite prepared for the journey but is finding in this, her first pregnancy, that she was completely unprepared for the barrage of questions she considers nobody’s business but her own. In the spirit of warning to other first-time expectant mothers, here are six questions Caudle considers “the world’s most inappropriate pregnancy questions.”
- Did You Plan This?
According to Caudle, planned or not, pregnant is pregnant. It can’t be unplanned so why ask the question? She mentions someone arguing the merit of the question by claiming that “people just want to know if you were on birth control when you conceived.” - Are You Happy?
This mind-blowing question leaves Caudle questioning whether or not happiness is a qualifier for the miracle motherhood. - Do You Want More Children?
Are they asking about your plans for future sexual activities? - The Breastfeeding Question
The baby will be fed. Caudle will make sure that happens regularly. - How Much Weight Have You Gained?
What matters is that she’s carrying a new human developing in her body. Other people gain weight, too. What’s their excuse? Did you ask them, too? - Won’t Working Out Hurt the Baby?
Regular work-outs are more beneficial for mom and baby than being a couch potato. Is the question intended to instill guilt?
The questions that irritate Caudle probably irritate countless other expectant mothers, be it their first pregnancy, their second, or their 11th. What’s more, these invasive questions generate even more questions from Caudle - Why would you ask that? Is that any of your business? Why is this important to you?
Certainly every woman gets these questions when pregnant. Likely they get many others, too. Just because they happen so universally doesn’t mean they are appropriate questions. They can offend and are invasions of privacy at a time when privacy and intimacy are of heightened value in a woman’s life.
Caudle seems to have found a way to use humor to get through them without letting these questions get too far under her skin. Along with her warning to other pregnant women, she sends out a reminder to the rest of the world to please remember that every pregnant woman deserves respect from strangers, friends, coworkers, business associates, and even from family.
Source: Caudle, Stephanie R. “The World’s Most Inappropriate Pregnancy Questions.” Huff Post Parents / The Blog. The Huffington Post. Dec 30, 2013. Web. Jan 7, 2014.