One of my sisters is really into Facebook. When she was pregnant, she constantly posted status updates about her pregnancy and when she had her daughter, we got even more updates. Most were fun positive things, but a lot of them were also “I have no idea what I’m doing!” posts. I recently stumbled across an excellent website about all the things no one ever told you about being a mother, and I wish I had found it before my sister had her child so she could have been more reassured that she was in fact being a good mother and there are just some things women aren’t prepared for when they have a child.

1. Breastfeeding Is Tough!
There are a ton of articles out there about the best ways to breastfeed, the benefits of breastfeeding, and why you should breastfeed your child, but there is less information about how difficult breastfeeding can be and how emotional the struggle is. The bottom line is that breastfeeding is often messy, uncomfortable, and frustrating. Breastfeeding is uncomfortable at first because it’s a new experience for you and your baby. Children want to be fed naturally, but they don’t always know instinctively how to latch on in a way that’s comfortable for you or her. Don’t worry, it’ll probably get better and you should visit your lactation consultant if you’re having an overly difficult time.

2. You Don’t Have to Get Dressed
If at all possible, you should avoid getting dressed for at least two weeks after giving birth. Really, you don’t have to get dressed and you’re probably not going to go anywhere anyway, so why not be comfortable? That doesn’t mean you have to be unwashed and messy, it just means that you’re allowed to wear lounging clothes for a while before you have to put on your big girl pants and be productive.

3. Babies Don’t Always Sleep Naturally at First
My niece was actually a pretty natural sleeper, but not all babies are. Don’t worry about it if your child doesn’t fall asleep right away. They will get fussy and probably cry, but you’re not doing anything wrong. Sometimes it just takes a while for your baby to get the hang of a natural rhythm. You child will eventually sleep, and so will you.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
This is another thing my sister did well, and she did have a lot of support. The point is that you don’t have to be a martyr. Don’t be afraid to admit that being a new mom is really difficult and sometimes you just need someone to come over and watch your baby while you have a nap and a shower.

5. Don’t Let Anyone Tell You They Know How to Raise Your Child Better Than You
Even if you have a huge support group of dedicated and knowledgeable moms around you, don’t let anyone tell you that they can raise your child better than you. You are the mom now, and your instincts will reliably guide you through many new situations you face.

Tate, A. S. (n.d.). Scary mommy: an honest look at motherhood. Scary Mommy .