About ten years ago, before I even knew him, my husband had a kidney transplant due to a genetic defect that causes kidney failure (don't ask me the name, my latin isn't so great...). I know that he'll likely need another transplant in the future, which I accept and do not fear, but I've recently learned that this also effects our ability to get pregnant. Each day he has to take several medications, I like to call it his cocktail, in order to keep his new kidney kickin' and keeping him alive. Over the years the actual ingredients of his cocktail have changed, and will continue to do so. Because he has to take them in order to stay alive, he never really thought about the negative affects it had on his body. Turns out that not one, but two of his current meds can lead to a lowered sperm count, and therefore lowered fertility. And after ten years of taking these, and other trial meds, the outlook for his sperm is not good. This is by far not the worst news we could get, and in truth we haven't had him fully tested yet to see just how bad (or not so bad) it may be. I know that there are millions of other people out there are dealing with worse news. Hell! Even my first husband had been through chemotherapy and radiation, making his fertility even more questionable, so this is something of a step up for me. Still, I feel like I'm in something of a mourning period right now, mourning the loss of the ease of getting pregnant that others have. I wasn't someone who grew up dreaming of becoming a mother, but now that we've made the decision, I'm sad that we can't just do it...so to speak. So here we are, looking into what's next; what is and is not covered by insurance, and trying to accept that many doctors may be involved in the conception of our child, rather that just a glass or two of wine. I'm still hoping that the stars will align and we'll get pregnant on our own, maybe this month or next (?!?), but the realist (or pessimist) in me, says to hold on for the long haul. Wish us luck....
