So far, I was only on the initial one-month pack of birth control pills prescribed by by fertility doctor. They were the same brand I took in college, though the packaging had changed somewhat. I could scarcely believe anymore that there was a time when I was actively trying to prevent pregnancy. That all seemed so long ago. Yet I'd started taking them upon turning 18, even before I lost my virginity, because I knew once I was out of high school that it was only a matter of time before it happened and I wanted to be prepared. I took them for 10 years, until I felt like I was emotionally ready for motherhood. Looking back, it now seemed like I'd always been ready and I never should have taken the pills in the first place. I almost wished I had gotten pregnant in college!

So, being back on the pills was weird in that regard, even though I knew it would only be a month, or maybe two if I decided to wait till January to have the full IVF procedure. What was also weird was that I noticed some immediate changes in my cycle once I was back on these pills. I'd been paying attention to every little thing about my cycle for a long time, so it was easy to notice subtle differences.

For one, I was no longer having mild cramping throughout my cycle, which had been the norm for the past few years. I didn't get moderate cramping when I had an orgasm, which had also been the norm for a few years. I had no cervical mucus that month, even during my normally fertile days. I even noticed I was more emotional and more susceptible to get overwhelmed more easily than was typical for me.

Between my mother being on the verge of a nervous breakdown and placing lots of demands on my time, my husband having issues with his sons that caused him to be grumpy, plus meeting deadlines at work and school, while trying to maintain a social life with my friends, I ended up literally shaking one day. That was not normal for me. If I was reacting this way to minor stresses from birth control pills, I knew the month I took the real hormones for IVF would be a real rollercoaster!