My Infertility Journey: Emotional Baggage
Obie Editorial Team
With the holidays coming up, I knew there was going to likely be some kind of get-together with my step-sons. This was a real problem for me because I was still very resentful of their lack of support or compassion during my IVF fundraiser. To me, it really showed the lack of interest they had in me overall. Of course, this wasn't just true of me. Since they'd become adults, they'd begun to basically treat both me and their dad as second-class citizens, while their mom was the queen of everything. I didn't begrudge them loving their mom, but they used to love their dad and me equally when they were little. I didn't know what had changed, but it was glaringly apparent they didn't give much thought to either one of us anymore.
We no longer talked to my oldest step-son at all, due to an issue that was mainly just between him and his dad, so that wasn't a concern. But my middle step-son (the one who compared my IVF fundraiser to raising money for skydiving) was coming in from out of state, and my youngest step-son only lived an hour and a half away. With my middle step-son being in town, they would surely want us to all get together. The thing was, I didn't want to.
When my middle step-son suggested we meet half-way at a restaurant somewhere, I was relieved when my husband said he wouldn't expect me to go to such a gathering, and that he would be greatly displeased if they wouldn't come to our house. I really hoped they wouldn't come to our house. I didn't want to see them at all. The only one I didn't have an issue with was my youngest stepson's four-year-old son (my step-grandson).
It was to my great disappointment when they finally decided they would come to our house. I couldn't bring myself to feel anything but angry about people who obviously didn't support me having a child or care about me at all being in my house. You get that way when you're in the process of making a baby...people are either with you or against you, in your opinion. In my opinion, my step-sons were against me and I had effectively disowned them. I looked forward to their visit with annoyance.