About 4 years ago, I underwent a total abdominal hysterectomy. Despite the doctor telling me the CAT scan was clear, I knew there was something wrong and with a history of endometriosis I wanted to stop the pain and get on with life. The CAT scan was wrong and I was right. My ovaries, uterus and fallopian tubes were eaten up with endometriosis, not to mention adenomyosis of the uterus (endo of the muscle fibers). The lump that didn't show up on the CAT scan was an endometrial cyst that was hemorrhaging. I am thankful I pressed the hysterectomy decision on my doctor and even more thankful he listened to my feelings more than the CAT scan at such a young age, but there is a horrible mental after effect. I am 34 and everything that makes me a woman on the inside is gone!

I have felt many fears over the last 4 years about how my life will change in the future. I chose to go all natural with hormone replacement therapy, but menopause migraines forced me back to the doctor for a prescription. I now take the lowest possible dose of estradiol possible to relieve the headaches, but other changes have weighed heavily on my mind. 

Aches and pains are more common. My muscles hurt for weeks instead of days after exercising and fatigue is common. Despite taking daily calcium, I fear losing bone mass and ending up fighting osteoporosis. Most women are in menopause for 20 to 30 years, I have (hopefully) 40 years or more to spend in menopause. That is more years than I spent as a reproductive woman. 

Does anyone else fear the effects of menopause or have fears about being less of a woman?