There are no more periods to deal with every month, so sex should be fantastic...right? Women nearing menopause years or those in menopause often find this dream of a renewed sexual energy and vigor depressed by the realities of menopause. When estrogen levels drop, so does libido; vaginal dryness can make intercourse painful, and mood swings beat out intimate feelings many days of the week. Menopause and sex do not have to be strangers, however, just bed partners that must learn to live together.
Arousal Takes a Bit More Time and Effort
Many women who are in menopause claim they want to have sex more often, but simply don't think about sex as often as they should. Sexual peak for women is age 35, but that is the time when most women are neck deep in career and home life. By the time they reach menopause, estrogen levels have dropped dramatically and that itchy feeling to hop in the sack is all but gone.
Tips for Her Partner
- Help her warm up with a gentle massage and intimate touch. It isn't that a woman in menopause doesn't want to have sex, its just that her hormone levels make it almost impossible to think about. Remember, women are genetically made for reproduction. When they lose the ability to reproduce, there is no instinctual reason to have sex.
- Partners who work together can learn to read the sexual signs in a household. Actions, loving words, or even a subtle look could all be signals that she is feeling a little more aroused than normal. The key is to go slow and let things happen.
Vaginal Dryness Can Account for Painful Sex and Irritation for Him and Her
Estrogen is again responsible for vaginal dryness during menopause. Without a basic need for sex, the vagina doesn't need to stay lubricated. There are numerous vaginal lubricants on the market that care completely safe for external and internal (in the vagina) use. Some are flavored and others cause tingly sensations – so pick one or many and stock up to prevent vaginal irritation during sex.
Tips for Her Partner
- When wearing a condom, men often lose sensation and feeling. If your partner has had trouble with vaginal dryness before, there is a good chance she may be suffering again. Take your time during intercourse and reapply vaginal lubricant often. There can never be too much lubrication for a woman in menopause.
Women in menopause alone cannot be held responsible for lacking libido and drive to have sex. Nature has a way of changing a female's reaction to sex as she ages. Working through the problems as a couple is the best option for everyone involved.