Have you ever felt like if another one of your friends calls, texts, emails or put on social media her exciting baby news, you’re going to explode? Whether you’ve been trying to get pregnant for the past few months or years, it can be difficult to handle when it seems like everyone is getting pregnant except you.
Here are a few practical tips to help you deal with your emotions:
Be Honest about Your Feelings
“You shouldn’t feel that way,” are usually the words of someone who has never struggled with trying to conceive (TTC). Yes, you know you shouldn’t and wish you didn’t feel this way, but the reality is you are envious of the pregnant family member or friend. You’ve been trying longer to get pregnant. You feel like a three year old who’s screaming “it’s not fair!”
Rather than kicking and screaming, find constructive ways to express your anger, disappointment, and sadness. Some women have found it therapeutic to write their feelings in a journal or to engage in some form of activity or exercise, or to get in touch with their spiritual side through prayer or meditation.
Time to Cry
I’m a firm believer in what I like to call the different 'seasons' in a person's life. Your season to get married, give birth or even start a new career may not be the same as mine. There is also a season or time to be happy and a time to be sad.
Take time to feel sad and cry about your difficulties getting pregnant. Many mental health experts suggest setting a time limit such as 15 minutes to yell and cry. They strongly urge finding a way to end this time of release on a positive note.
Make a Gratitude List
In an ABC News 2013 report on gratitude, Yale University researcher Shawn Achor suggests finding something positive to focus on in the face of adversity. I suggest you take a few minutes to write down 100 things that you are thankful for. Look at this list from time to time, especially when you’re down about conceiving.
Send Your Regrets to the Baby Showers
Attending a baby shower at a time when you want to be pregnant may not be the best for you. You may leave the event feeling worse than if you had not attended. If you don’t feel comfortable attending the baby shower, send your regrets with your gift.
Join a Supportive Community
One of the most comforting feelings in life is to know that whatever negative circumstance you’re facing, you’re not alone. You have finally found others who can relate to you, cry with you and encourage you.
While your local city or town may offer a group for women who are trying to conceive, you may want to remain anonymous. Consider joining a supportive online group, like the one found in the babyMed Community. You’ll find great peer support and information.