My Infertility Journey: Mommy Mode (Part 42)

Obie Editorial Team

The closer I get to actually going through the IVF procedure, the more my mind and whole way of thinking is switching into what I call "mommy mode." I'm thinking like a woman who already has children. That's good, because I believe the law of attraction works best when you not only act like you already have what you desire, but you feel like you already have it, too. I feel like I have my babies already. To me, this means the fact that they're coming is a given.

I also keep referring to them in the plural, and I'm not sure why. I guess I must just assume or even subconsciously know that there's going to be more than one at the same time. That would be great for me, since I want three. Triplets may be a bit too many for me to carry at once, since I'm very small and a previous fertility doctor from when we tried IUI told me I would have trouble even carrying twins and would likely need to be on bed rest for it. But I think I could do twins. Two at once would be really wonderful.

I'm thinking in terms of what would be best for the children all the time now. I'm looking at changes that need to be made to the house, I want things cleaner (even though my husband is already a clean freak), and I'm even looking at my beloved cats differently. My mom always said I would once I had kids, though I didn't believe her. My cats have always been like my little furry children. I even hold them like babies and sing to them sometimes. Yeah, crazy cat lady, that's me!

But now I'm looking at them and thinking for one, I have too many. Four cats is a lot of cats. Second, I'm looking at the dirt and dust they generate and this displeases me. Third, I don't want them around the babies at all, at least until the babies are toddlers. So I'm looking at creating cat-free zones in the house and giving them their own special area where I can spend time with them away from the children. I never thought I'd feel that way. Mom was right. Having babies does change the way you think about a lot of things.