Sometimes it seems as if life’s experiences are not equally divided between men and women. The struggle with infertility, for example, is often discussed and sympathized with an angle toward the female experience. Valentine’s Day can be that way, too. Denny Ceizyk, however, has experienced infertility from the male perspective and he shares his perspective in an endearing blog called Almost a Father, which is also the name of a book he wrote chronicling his experience.
Ceizyk also writes about Valentine’s Day during the time of infertility treatments. Actually, in tribute to the Day of Love, he posts the comments from his female readers who share all the things their “Dear Husbands” are doing right on Valentine’s Day and every day as they share the journey to parenthood.
Ladies, Valentine’s Day is a time to let your beloved partner know what to do to make you feel more romantic and loved. Here are some love-inspiring words of praise from other women undergoing infertility treatments. Share them with your partner in the journey because they may be at a loss to know how to support you effectively during this very complicated phase of life together.
- Know her cycle and don’t be shy about discussing it; that way she knows you are fully in the game, too.
- Volunteer for injection duty, especially if she cringes at the sight of a needle.
- Go with her to doctors’ appointments; she’ll adore you for sharing the experience and you’ll have the chance to ask questions and get the latest news straight from the source.
- Book overnight accommodations if treatment procedures require out-of-town travel.
- Let her know you appreciate all she’s doing to her body to give you a child.
- Remember she hates the mood swings as much as you do; soften their blow with sympathy, support, and gratitude.
- Take control of the finances so she can wrestle with the hormones.
- Stand by her through this journey; it’s a team effort.
- Never miss a chance to make her feel adored, loved, and wanted.
- Ask her how her day went; she’ll want to know about yours, too.
- Never diss her in public, even when your buddies are venting negatively about their spouses.
- Remember her birthday and your anniversary; they are big deals to her - happy deals but big ones nevertheless.
- Talk to her. About everything. And don’t forget to say “I love you.”
- Listen to her when she tells you about everything.
- Bring her special and favorite treats from time to time; you know what she wants.
- Kiss her often, especially when she feels the worst.
- Lavish her with hugs, too.
- Give her something to laugh about, even when she doesn’t want to.
About Sharing a Life Together
- Take over some of the chores on a regular basis, including cooking, laundry, vacuuming, pet care, and other routine things that contribute to peace of mind and harmony at home.
- Do some nesting in the nursery; don’t leave baby things to the women. If you want your soon-to-arrive son (or daughter) to have a train set (or whatever), go get exactly the set you want. Imagine how much more fun you’ll have playing together when you’ve got a personally invested stake in your child’s playthings and other necessities of childhood.
- Study up; parenting / baby books and magazines are for the whole family, not just mothers.
Perhaps the very best Valentine’s Day gift for a woman undergoing infertility treatments is the assurance that you will love her and cherish your lives together even if you never become parents.
Source: Ceizyk, Denny. “Infertility Support Alert: Guys Who Got It Right This Valentine’s Day!” Almost a Father. Denny Ceizyk. Feb 14, 2013. Web. Feb 11, 2014.