My patients who have decided to have children almost invariably ask me, “What should I do to get pregnant?” What books should they read? How do they take their basal body temperature? Should they use an ovulation predictor test?
Now, these are women with regular menstrual cycles, and no health problems. For these women, asking “How do I get pregnant?” is a little bit like asking “How do I breathe?” We are baby-making machines, after all. And the human race pretty much populated the entire world without using a single ovulation predicting kit.
Procreation is like Windows Explorer – it’s built into the operating system. (Weren’t you starting to wonder if Bill Gates was God?) The default mode is pregnant. And here’s the thing – You’ve been using the pop-up blocker! So turn it off already. Stop your pills (or your condoms, or whatever it is you have been using all these years to keep from getting pregnant) and let nature take its course.
By the way, if you happen to be orthodox Jewish, you don’t need my advice. Because the Jews have designed a system to maximize the odds of the natural process working. (Maybe God gave them the source code.) According to their rules, men and women are required to avoid each other until the most fertile time of the month, by which time they are all hot and bothered and you know what that means…. “Hi honey, I’m home from the Mihkvah!”
But I digress. Here’s what I tell my patients. You wanna’ get pregnant? Just step out of the way. All you have to do is relax, trust your body and let it do what it is designed to do. Get your mitts out of there and stop trying to control things. Cro-magnon man had no trouble with the process, and neither should you.
Oh, right. There is one more thing…HAVE SEX.
Of course, if you have decided to wait until you are 40 to start the process, that’s another story (After all, Cro-Magnon man was DEAD by 40). But that’s another post for another day.
Dr. Margaret Polaneczky is a board certified obstetrician-gynecologist and Associate Professor of Clinical Obstetrics and Gynecology at Weill Medical College of Cornell University in New York City, where she lives with her husband, whom she calls Mr. TBTAM, and their kids. She publishes a regular blog called "The Blog That Ate Manhattan" at http://www.tbtam.com/