Be honest, men. “Honey, I’m ovulating” isn’t exactly the sexiest mating call in the animal kingdom. If you’ve been trying to conceive for a while, the whole process can get to be a bit mundane. In some cases, there’s so much pressure to perform that it can actually interfere with your ability to conceive.

Let’s take a look at some of the ways baby-making sex can become a drag, and what you can do about them:


  • Scheduled sex is boring. If it’s something you have to put on your calendar, it’s going to feel like an obligation. There’s no spontaneity, which is a big part of the fun for many couples. There’s a solution, however. Just because you need to do the deed on certain days doesn’t mean you have to do it at home in bed. Move out to the living room over the recliner, or put your partner up on the kitchen counter. Try a morning roll in the hay instead of a nighttime I’m-so-tired-let’s-get-this-over event. Add in the other senses. Play some different music, or massage your partner with scented oils before you get started.
  • Your desire is dropping. This is a natural thing for men. As you get older, you don’t produce as much testosterone. The innate desire to spread your seed wanes as you age. Ten years ago, you’d do it anytime, anyplace. Today, you have trouble getting it up or keeping it up, at least during a baby-making session. Your penis has a mind of its own, and it may just not want to play. Here again, there are several possible solutions. Skip sex entirely – even masturbation – between your partner’s fertile days. Practice some tantric breathing, which can really heat things up. Consider talking to your doctor about a medication for erectile dysfunction if the problem is severe or persistent.
  • There’s too much pressure on you to conceive. It’s been well said that the most significant sex organ is your brain. If your brain is telling you that you’d better get it right this time, or else, you’re going to have some trouble making it happen. You might be distracted by other stressors in life, like money or work. In some cases, these emotions can be misdirected toward your partner, taking much of the joy from sex. The best solution to this problem is to communicate with your partner. Recognize that you’re a team with a common goal (or many common goals). Let your baby-making sex become a stress reliever, rather than yet another cause to be stressed.

It takes some couples years to conceive without any help from afertility specialist. Others seem to get lucky and manage to get pregnant on the first or second try. If you’re in the former category, don’t let sex become mundane or boring. Good sex is more likely to make a baby than boring sex. Recognize what’s causing your conception sex to become a drag and take steps to fix it.